Sage Advice From a New Bride

By: Chandra Palmerino

There are many words of advice I can give to future brides. Weddings can be stressful, but don't turn into Bride-zilla.

You must learn to compromise with your future in-laws, your parents, and your husband-to-be. Your decisions will often be based on who is paying the bill. Although weddings can be expensive, paying for it yourself can cut out most of your headaches. Remember this is your fiancé's wedding too. If he really likes a certain style tuxedo, he should be allowed to wear it without a fight.

Remember, you did pick out your own wedding dress.

Try to keep everything as local as possible, from the cake to the DJ. Travel fees and delivery fees add extra expenses that you really don't need.

Plus, the vendors will more than likely have worked together previously, which makes things so much easier for you. Get referrals from brides and also from caterers and wait staff at the reception site. I was thrilled with Melanie's Florals in East Stroudsburg and The Mountaintop Lodge in Pocono Pines. Handyman Rental Center in Pocono Summit was easy to work with and they have so many things you might need for your wedding ceremony and reception. We loved our DJ, who was a lot of fun yet professional. We used Pulsations out of Scranton.

Most importantly, make sure you are very specific with all of the details. Write everything down. Don't assume anything! For example, don't assume your photographer will take the pictures you want them to. Get a list of all the photos they plan to take, and then you can write down the shots you think they should take on top of that. When they say, "Complete wedding coverage," it might not be your idea of complete.

I was not happy when I counted 40 non-existent pictures that I was looking forward to seeing -- including one of the groom up at the front of the aisle, watching me walk towards him. I will never know just what his face looked like; I was too far away to see the tears in his eyes that my matron of honor talked about.

Have your wedding videotaped, even if it is just taped by a family member or friend. You will feel like the day went so quickly. A video can help you recapture the magic of the wedding, and you may be able to see things you were too excited to see. Even if you only watch it once after the honeymoon and on your anniversary, it is worth it.

Have your florist make a centerpiece and even a bridal bouquet prior to the wedding so you can see if you are on the same wavelength. I was lucky to find Melanie. She is very talented and listens to what you want. I have some friends who had flower nightmares at their wedding, and the bride and the wedding party were redoing the flowers before the ceremony.

Make sure you do a taste test of your menu and cake. Your tastes may be different then the baker's and your caterer's. Remember, you are feeding a lot of different tastes as well, so include items on the menu that the majority of people will eat.

Concerning tuxedos, if the bridal party and other family members cannot try on all of the tuxes before the tuxedos leaves the store, it is very important for you or the groom to carefully check the bags. Make sure the pants are hemmed properly, the sizes are correct, and the accessories are all there.

The rental shops do not always thoroughly check the tuxedos that are not tried on prior to leaving the store. Check for loose buttons and frayed edges. Four hours before our wedding, my mother called me in a panic because the tuxedos we had rented for my stepfather only came to his knees and my grandfather's pants were not hemmed at all.

Start looking for your wedding dress early. Don't wait to lose weight or until you have time. Make the time to look. Don't buy the first dress you fall in love with, but once you buy your dress, stop looking. If you find another dress, you will only kick yourself. You are better off to just avoid having that situation occur.

If you have a limited budget, be up front with your vendors and ask for suggestions. You might be surprised by what they can come up with to help you keep your budget in line.

Most of all, have fun. On your wedding day, don't let the little things get
to you. Be willing to change with the moment if something doesn't go exactly as planned. And remember that the day is not about the dress, the flowers, the cake, the DJ or the photographer. It is about you and the love of your life taking your vows of marriage. Everything else pales in comparison to that.